


New Beginnings

by alyb123



Category: The Blacklist (US TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Eve, F/M, Family, Keenler - Freeform, Romance, Snow, The Blacklist Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyb123/pseuds/alyb123
Summary: Ressler invites Liz and Agnes to spend Christmas and New Years with his family in Michigan in the hopes that some time away and a change of scenery will give them the opportunity to explore their feelings for each other in the wake of that first kiss.Written for my friend @aomine-dajki for the 2020 Blacklist Secret Santa gift exchange on Tumblr. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my Keenler friends! May 2021 bring us nothing but good things!
Relationships: Elizabeth Keen & Donald Ressler, Elizabeth Keen/Donald Ressler
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

Ressler paused in the doorway of their shared office as he watched Liz hastily stuff a piece of paper in her desk and pretend to be absorbed in her computer screen. He could tell from the way she rested her lips on her knuckles that something was wrong, or at least more wrong than usual. Things hadn’t exactly been smooth in the weeks since Reddington had shot Katarina and disappeared. Liz seemed like she was constantly teetering between anger and depression and he was worried about her. Ressler sank into his chair and spun a pencil between his fingers as he waited to see if she would volunteer anything on her own.

When her silence continued, he peered over his monitor and caught her staring miserably at the wall.

“What’s wrong, Keen?” he said softly.

Liz blinked and turned as if she had just noticed him. “Nothing,” she said quickly as she lowered her eyes to her monitor and feigned typing.

“How many times are we gonna do this, Liz?”

“Do what?” Liz muttered without lifting her eyes.

Ressler exhaled slowly. “This dance. Where it’s obvious that something’s wrong, but you deny it when I ask you what it is.”

“It’s nothing,” Liz insisted as she met his gaze reluctantly. “I’m fine.”

Heaving a sigh, Ressler got up and perched on the edge of Liz’s desk and reached for her hand and placed it firmly in between his. 

“You don’t want to talk about it, fine, say so and I’ll go back to my desk and leave you alone. But don’t pretend that everything’s fine when I can see from your face that it’s not.”

Liz couldn’t even meet his eyes. “It’s Agnes,” she admitted slowly as she reached into her desk with her free hand and retrieved the folded piece of paper. “She wrote a letter to Santa. I promised her I’d mail it but I decided to sneak a peek at it first to see what she was asking for.”

Ressler arched an eyebrow. “So what does she want? A puppy?” he joked in an effort to lighten the mood.

A flicker of a smile crossed Liz’s face. “I wish it was that simple,” she sighed.

“What did the letter say?” Ressler asked calmly.

“See for yourself,” Liz replied as she handed him the piece of paper.

Ressler eyed Liz for a long moment as he let go of her hand and unfolded the piece of paper she had handed him. He couldn’t help but smile at the large, inelegant print that covered the page, but his smile faded as he read Agnes’s letter.

“ _Dear Santa_ ,” the letter began with the “S” in “Santa” reversed, “ _I know you are very VERY busy. But I have a very important thing to ask you. My mommy is sad all the time. She cries a lot when she thinks I cant hear her. The one thing I want for Christmas is for mommy to be happy. I don’t know what you can give her but I want her to smile and laugh. And if you also can bring me a doll I would like Anna in the new dress. I would also like it to snow so I can make a snowman. Thank you, Agnes Keen._ ”

Ressler met Liz’s gaze, wordlessly. He didn’t know what to say, but his heart ached for a five year old who clearly hadn’t missed a beat of what was going on around her.

Ressler folded the letter and handed it back to Liz. “Look, Liz—“ he began.

“Don’t,” she interjected sharply.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t tell me it’s all going to be fine.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Ressler said evenly.

Liz blinked at him, startled, and then leaned back in her chair. “I’m listening.”

Ressler picked up her hand again and slowly traced circles on the top of it with his thumb. “Look,” he began again, “I know you’re going through hell right now with all that’s happened. But being here, thinking about it day in, day out, it’s not good for you or for Agnes. This mess with Reddington will still be here long after the holidays. When’s the last time you had a break, took a vacation?”

“Probably the last time _you_ took a vacation,” Liz replied pointedly.

Ressler exhaled again. “That’s fair,” he admitted. “But I don’t have a kid at home. Look – I know it’s probably the last thing you want to think about right now, with everything going on, but do you have a plan for this upcoming break from school? She’s gonna be off for a week or two, right? What are you going to do?”

Liz held his gaze for a moment before lowering her eyes. “I don’t have a plan,” she admitted quietly, “I can barely even think about Christmas right now. I know that’s not fair to her and I’ll have to come up with something, get a tree at least.”

Ressler squeezed Liz’s hand as he weighed whether to raise the subject that had been on his mind for days. After a moment he got up and moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders and began to knead them gently with his fingers. They’d never really discussed that kiss under the bridge since the night it happened and yet they’d each acknowledged the subtle change in their relationship in their own way. For his part, he didn’t hesitate to touch her now, like this. And as she leaned into his touch he could tell it was welcome. 

As he continued to try to rub her tension away, his own increased. He’d been waiting for days for the right moment to ask her about the upcoming holidays and he really wasn’t sure this was it, but given the circumstances, it felt like now or never.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “Look, I don’t want to put any pressure on you,” he murmured, “but I do have an offer,”

“Which is?” Liz replied, her eyes closed, her face as contented as a cat’s as he continued to rub her neck and shoulders.

Ressler hesitated, already second-guessing himself. “Endless stress-relieving neck rubs,” he replied quickly as he kissed the top of her head. “And help with bringing in a tree if you need it.” The last thing he wanted to do was to come across like he was taking advantage of the moment. Eventually, he squeezed her shoulders and retreated to his own desk where he promptly pretended to be as absorbed in his own computer screen as Liz had previously pretended to be in hers.

After a few minutes, Liz broke the silence.

“As lovely as that sounds, that wasn’t what you were going to offer and we both know it. So what’s the real offer?”

Ressler met her eyes over the monitor and smiled sheepishly. “That obvious, huh?”

Liz rolled her eyes and flashed him a genuine grin. “Yes. So spill it.” 

Ressler licked his lips. “I promised my mom when we were in Michigan that I’d come home for Christmas this year and before you shake your head at me,” Ressler continued, already seeing the expression on Liz’s face, “we’d both love it if you and Agnes came along.” He held up a finger as Liz opened and closed her mouth wordlessly. “And I get that probably sounds terrible, sitting around with my mom and Robby, but before you say no way, I’m thinking that right after Christmas, maybe we go to the cabin my family has on the Upper Peninsula – just you, me, and Agnes and spend New Years there. Snow, if we’re lucky plenty of woods and lake regardless, spend some time off the grid, no Reddington, no Blacklisters. You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but at least think about it? No pressure, Liz. Just a chance to get away from this place if you want and have a change of scenery.” Ressler barely realized he’d been holding his breath until after he’d finished explaining his disjointed thoughts.

To his surprise, Liz didn’t outright reject his offer. Instead, she held his gaze for a long moment. “That actually sounds really tempting,” she admitted slowly, “but surely you don’t need Agnes and me interfering with your time with your –“

“You wouldn’t be interfering at all,” Ressler interjected. “Quite the opposite, actually,” he chuckled. “My mom would be over the moon to have you and Agnes as guests and I’d—” he stopped himself before he gave too much away. “Well, it’d be a lot more fun if you came,” he concluded quickly, “I haven’t been up to the lake in years and I’m not gonna go alone. You don’t have to give me an answer right away,” he repeated. 

“It does sound _really_ tempting,” Liz repeated. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”

“Of course, or even later than tomorrow. The offer’s not going anywhere.” Ressler reassured. “Sleep on it.” He hardly dared to say more, for fear of turning Liz off of the idea entirely.

Liz eventually headed home and Ressler gave up any pretense of continuing to work as he leaned back in his chair and stared absently as his computer. He’d called his mother days ago and cleared the idea of bringing Liz and Agnes to his childhood home for Christmas if Liz was agreeable. As far as his mother was concerned, Liz was nothing more than his partner and Ressler was worried about her and about Agnes in the aftermath of Liz’s grandfather’s and mother’s death. And yet, his mother had made it clear that she was not only onboard, but thoroughly excited at the idea of potentially sharing Christmas with his partner and her child. He only hoped Liz would say yes. What his mother didn’t know – and what Ressler could barely admit to himself – was how much the idea of spending the holidays with Liz meant to him. As much as they’d acknowledged subtle changes in their relationship over the past few weeks, work and Agnes had certainly impeded much further exploration of how far those feelings went. Maybe they were headed somewhere and maybe they weren’t, but the one thing he was sure of is that they were never going to find out without a change of scenery. 

* * *

Liz put Agnes to bed and then padded into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of Chardonnay from the fridge. She poured herself a glass and curled up on the couch in the living room as she sipped her wine and contemplated Ressler’s offer. She and Agnes had enjoyed a quiet Christmas the year before, just the two of them, but it had also been a lot of work and Liz wasn’t sure she had the heart to do it the same way this year with everything else going on. She felt overwhelmed by Reddington, his absence, Katarina’s death, and Dom – they’d never spent a holiday together but the fact that Agnes had never even gotten a chance to meet him weighed heavily on her conscience no matter what he might or might not have done to her mother. The thought of leaving town and escaping it all for a while was more appealing than she wanted to admit.

And _Ressler_. She closed her eyes and took another long sip of her wine as she recalled the soothing comfort of his hands. A week or two away might give them the chance to finally figure out what was going on between them. To her relief, he’d been entirely gracious and had never confronted her about that kiss, but at the same time she could feel a subtle shift in their relationship. He’d become more openly affectionate with her, more tender when they were alone. And she found herself increasingly drawn to him whenever the waves of darkness that inhabited her mind threatened to overtake her.

After a few minutes, Liz realized she didn’t need to sleep on it. She pulled out her phone and pressed Ressler’s number.

“Liz, everything okay?” he asked. She could hear the concern in his voice.

“Everything’s fine,” she reassured. “Great, actually. I’ve decided to accept your offer.”


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, they set off on the ten-hour drive to Michigan. After some discussion, they’d decided that driving made more sense than flying given the need to accommodate Christmas presents and snow gear for the days following. Liz shipped as much as she could to Ressler’s mother’s house ahead of time, but thankfully Agnes was young enough that she showed no interest in poking into the remaining bags and boxes carefully concealed among the blankets and suitcases in the back of the SUV.

Less than an hour into the drive, Agnes was in high spirits. “What’s your favorite Christmas song, Uncle Donnie,” she asked breathlessly.

Ressler flashed a smile as he glanced into the rearview mirror. “That’s a good question,” he replied as he considered her request. “Probably Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

“I know that song!” Agnes exclaimed gleefully. Her enthusiasm was infectious and for the next hour, Agnes had little difficulty in persuading Liz and Ressler to sing along with her to Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Jingle Bells, the Twelve Days of Christmas, We Wish You A Merry Christmas and other holiday tunes as they drove from Maryland into Pennsylvania.

Eventually Liz sensed a lull and passed her ipad to Agnes, “hey, do you want to watch Anna and Elsa?” she asked softly.

“Yes!” Agnes replied eagerly as she accepted the ipad and the proffered headphones. After 20 minutes Liz glanced in the rearview mirror and heaved a sigh. “She’s out.”

“You didn’t have to knock her out on my account,” Ressler murmured with a grin. “I didn’t mind the sing-a-long.”

Liz rolled her eyes. “That’s because it’s your first time doing it. Believe me, she’ll want more later.”

“That’s fair,” Ressler admitted as he flicked his eyes once more to the rearview mirror and grinned at the sight of Agnes asleep with her mouth open, headphones on, and Liz’s ipad held loosely between her hands.

“How many times has she watched that movie?”

“Too many!” Liz retorted as she turned and carefully eased her ipad out of Agnes’s hands. “I dream about these songs. And not in a good way!”

“Maybe I should buy the soundtrack,” Ressler replied playfully. Liz gaped at him for a beat before she burst out laughing. “Please, no,” she gasped. “I’ve got all I can take.”

They drove in companionable silence for a long while, each reluctant to wake Agnes. Eventually, Liz cautiously broke the silence.

“What did you tell your mom about me?” she asked.

Ressler flicked his eyes towards Liz and his heart ached at the uncertainty on her face. “Not much,” he reassured. “She knows you’re widowed and a single mom but nothing of the details except your husband was killed young,” he began slowly. “She knows you recently lost your grandfather and your estranged mother who had recently entered your life. Again, no details. I thought you’d prefer it that way,” he admitted cautiously. “Look, if you’d rather I—“

“No, that’s fine,” Liz agreed quickly. “I think in this case, less is more, you know?”

“That was my feeling,” Ressler murmured. “But Liz – if you want to tell her more of the details – she can handle it. You should know that,” Ressler replied levelly. “Her husband was murdered too,” he added pointedly.

She exhaled slowly. “I know and I appreciate that,” she replied slowly. “But I also appreciate you letting me meet her for the first time without all that baggage,” she darted a glance towards Ressler who flashed her a warm smile.

“All good then?” he murmured, relieved.

“Yes,” Liz replied softly.

Without intending to, Liz fell asleep herself and by the time she opened her eyes, Ressler was pulling into a parking lot at a rest stop in Ohio.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he apologized as the car came to a stop. “But I thought this was a good place for a pit stop before we push through to Detroit.”

Liz blinked and glanced at Agnes in the back seat who was slowly starting to emerge from slumber. She glanced at her watch and realized they were more than halfway through the ten hour drive and she immediately felt guilty for allowing him to bear the burden of all the driving. “No, you’re right. A good idea,” she murmured as she fought the fog of sleep.

“Hey, kiddo!” Ressler remarked as he glanced at Agnes.

Agnes blinked and yawned sleepily. “Where are we?” she asked, confused.

“Ohio!” Ressler exclaimed. “Oh-Hi-Oh,” he repeated as he made the obligatory hand gestures with his arms. Agnes giggled as she mimicked his movements. “Oh-Hi-Oh” she repeated playfully.

“And where are we going?” Ressler continued.

“Michigan!” Agnes exclaimed.

“That’s right. But before we do that, do you want a snack?”

Agnes’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I want a snack! Mommy can we have a snack!”

Liz had shed the fog of sleep and was amused watching the exchange between Ressler and her daughter. “Yes, I think we can manage that,” she agreed as she darted a glance towards Ressler

“If didn’t know better,” she murmured as she left the car and they headed towards the rest stop, “I’d swear you had kids.”

Ressler grinned. “If you haven’t figured it out,” he whispered, “I’m basically still a kid and I love snacks,” he added as he arched an eyebrow rakishly. 

Liz gaped at him for a moment before bursting out into genuine laughter. “Touché,” she replied.

* * *

Two more stops and several hours later, it was already dark when they finally pulled into the driveway of Ressler’s childhood home. Liz gazed at the simple white frame house with blue shutters and a front porch strung with Christmas lights.

“This reminds me of where I grew up, in Nebraska,” she said softly.

Ressler didn’t miss the catch in her voice. “You’ll have to show me someday,” he replied quietly. He sat motionless. He wasn’t going to rush her out of the car until she was ready.

Liz nodded as she reached for the door handle. Nebraska mostly felt like a lifetime ago.

Ressler followed her signal and got out of the car and opened the back door to lift Agnes out of her car seat.

“You ready to go see the Christmas tree?” he whispered to Agnes.

Agnes nodded solemnly as she clapped her hands. “Yes!” she breathed.

“Ok, let’s go,” Ressler whispered conspiratorially as he lifted her out of her seat and took her hand in a fluid motion.

His mother had the door open before they even finished climbing the porch steps. She darted a quick kiss on Ressler’s cheek and quickly crouched to greet her youngest guest.

“Hi Agnes! I’m so happy to meet you!”

Agnes ducked shyly behind Liz’s legs as she waved hesitantly. “I’m your Uncle Donnie’s mom,” Lisa continued as she flashed a welcoming smile towards Liz. “And you can call me Lisa, or Mrs. Ressler or whatever else you and your mom are comfortable with, okay?”

Agnes nodded cautiously.

“I made some cookies today, would you like to come in and try one?”

Agnes glanced at Liz, who nodded approvingly.

“Yes, please,” Agnes whispered as she took Lisa’s outstretched hand and disappeared into the house.

“I’m already starting to see where you get it from,” Liz murmured as she darted a glance at Ressler.

“Get what?”

Liz held his gaze for a long moment before squeezing his hand. “You. Just you,” she replied with a chuckle as she followed Agnes into the house.

Ressler lingered for a moment on the porch before he shook his head and followed the ladies into the house, genuinely befuddled.

Ressler carried their bags upstairs, dropping his own in his childroom room and Liz and Agnes’s in the guest room across the hall. He came down to find Agnes standing in front of the large tree in the corner of the living room, mesmerized by the colorful lights and ornaments. Liz and his mother were sitting on the couch watching her.

“Uncle Donnie, did you see the pretty Christmas tree?” Agnes exclaimed as he stepped into the room.

“I see it now,” he chuckled. “Looks great, mom. Did Robby help bring it in?”

“Thank you Don and yes, Robby helped. He set it up and I’ve enjoyed decorating it these past few days.” Lisa turned to Liz and patted her knee. “I don’t always set up a big tree anymore if it’s just for Robby and me, but having all of you here, it really feels like Christmas this year. Which reminds me, you must be starving. I have dinner nearly ready.” Lisa got up and disappeared into the adjacent kitchen.

Liz stood up and joined Ressler by the tree which was decorated with a hodgepodge of colorful ornaments, some wood, some glass, some clearly homemade. She fingered a wooden hockey player ornament as she inhaled the fresh pine scent of the tree.

“Who was the hockey player? You or Robby?” she asked softly.

Ressler grinned. “Both of us, I guess; probably more me than Robby. My mom used to buy us each an ornament every year for whatever we were into at the time. I had lots of sports ones for a while. Robby had the police ones.”

“And yet you’re the one who became a cop,” Liz murmured.

“Yeah,” Ressler exhaled. “Funny how things work out.”

Liz scanned further up the tree and saw a faded brown handprint cut out of construction paper and decorated to look like a reindeer. She turned it over and smiled at the print on the back “Don, 1983.”

“That’s your handprint,” she remarked, “so little!”

“Mom always saved that sort of stuff,” Ressler grinned sheepishly. “Sentimental, I guess.”

“I think it’s lovely,” Liz replied softly. She held his gaze for a long moment until Lisa broke the silence by calling them to come in for dinner.

* * *

By the time they finished dinner, Agnes was practically nodding off at the table. Ressler stayed behind to help his mother with the dishes while Liz brought Agnes upstairs to put her to bed.

“Mommy, look!” Agnes exclaimed as her eye caught a soft plush teddy bear in the middle of the queen-sized bed they would be sharing. “Can I sleep with him?” she pleaded, her exhaustion temporarily forgotten.

Of course you can,” Liz replied with a soft smile. As she turned down the bed, her smile grew as she took in the flannel Christmas sheets, the soft white fleece blanket, and the tiny ceramic Christmas tree that sat on the dresser that would serve as the perfect nightlight. When she took Agnes into the bathroom to brush her teeth, she marveled at the basket Lisa had compiled of scented bubble bath and lotion, princess bath toys, a hair dryer, and myriad other things Liz hadn’t even thought to pack. Never mind the adorable reindeer towels that adorned the towel bar. Agnes eyed the toys longingly as she brushed her teeth. When she was done she turned to Liz.

“Do you think Mrs. Ressler would mind if I played with those tomorrow?” she asked innocently.

“I think that’s exactly what she’s hoping you’ll do,” Liz reassured her. “Mrs. Ressler doesn’t have any grandchildren, you know, so I think she’s enjoying having a little girl in the house for a change.”

“Why doesn’t she have grandchildren?” Agnes asked as she wiped her face on a Rudolph towel.

“Well, because Uncle Donnie and Uncle Robby aren’t married and don’t have kids,” Liz replied simply although her heart ached suddenly for Lisa and for her partner. Audrey had died so young. She often forgot that since she’d never really known her. But her death had taken so much not only from Ressler but also from his mother.

Agnes nodded as she accepted the simple explanation. 

As tired as Agnes was, she still insisted on a bedtime story. Liz did her best to recite one from memory, but by the end of it, Agnes didn’t protest at all as Liz tucked her into the cozy flannel sheets and promised to come up soon to join her.

As Liz closed the door, she saw Ressler unpacking some clothes onto his own bed in his room across the hall. Liz stepped into the doorway and smiled as she took in the sight of his boyhood room.

“Wow, this room is like a time capsule,” she remarked as she stepped into the room and scanned the posters on the wall. “REM, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the _Beastie Boys?_ You liked the Beastie Boys?” 

“What can I say, I was a rebel.” Ressler chuckled. He sat down on his bed and watched Liz continue her tour of his room. “Like I told you before, Mom’s sentimental. She kept everything just as it was the day I left for college. I never lived here long enough after that to care about changing anything.”

Liz nodded as she circled the room slowly taking in the concert posters, sports trophies and pennants that adorned the walls, each a small window into the man in front of her. “Tom Clancy novels, I can see that, she murmured as she turned her attention to the other side of the room. “Now this is more how I picture you, the sports pennants, the ribbons, the trophies,” she paused in front of the desk. "Who was the criminal law scholar?”

“That was Robby,” Ressler replied evenly. “And all the trophies and ribbons and pennants on that side of the room are his.”

Liz turned and blinked at him, surprised. “None of this stuff is yours?” she asked as she gestured towards the row of criminal justice texts. Ressler shook his head.

“Nope. I’m the rebel on this side of the room with the Beastie Boys above the bed.”

Liz registered that for a moment. “What happened to him?” she asked quietly.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Oh,” Liz breathed as realization dawned. “How awful for both of you.”

“It’s something I lived with – he lived with – for a long time. But, thanks in no small part to you, it’s all in the past,” Ressler remarked as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “And Robby’s no longer occupying the bed on the other side of this room, which is also a good sign. How’s the munchkin?” he asked, changing the subject.

Liz put a hand over his as she leaned into his embrace. “She’s exhausted. But very excited for Christmas.” After a long beat, she stepped out of Ressler’s arms and turned to face him. “And you – _you_ must be even more exhausted after all that driving. I feel so bad that I fell asleep. I should have helped.” Liz grazed his arms lightly with her fingers and sent a pleasant shiver down his spine.

“Hey, I’m not the one who’s been losing sleep for weeks. I was fine with the driving. You should get a good night’s sleep though. We got a busy day tomorrow getting ready for Christmas. Do you two have everything you need?” he asked as he gestured towards the closed door of the guest room across the hall.

“Yes, your mom thought of everything and then some. A teddy bear, princess bath toys, Agnes is over the moon. I’m just going to run downstairs for some water and then I think I’ll head to bed myself. As you say, we have a busy day tomorrow.”

Ressler nodded and then hesitated for a moment before he kissed Liz’s temple lightly. “Goodnight,” he said softly. “See you tomorrow.”

Liz held his gaze for a moment and then leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “Goodnight,” she whispered as she quickly disappeared into the hall and down the stairs.

* * *

Lisa was sifting through some mail at the kitchen island and glanced up with a smile at the sight of Liz.

“Did you get Agnes off to sleep alright? Do you need anything else?”

“Yes, she was so exhausted she dropped right out. She’ll probably be up at the crack of dawn so I’m going to join her in a minute. I just wanted to get a glass of water,” Liz murmured as Lisa gestured towards a cabinet.

“In there, pick any glass you like.”

“Thank you,” Liz replied as she selected a glass and filled it from the dispenser on the fridge door. “I’m sure we have everything else we need,” Liz continued. “You really thought of everything – more than I could have possibly imagined. Agnes loved the stuffed bear on the bed, the Christmas sheets ”

“I’m so glad,” Lisa beamed as she squeezed Liz’s arm. “I’m always so jealous of my sister having her grandkids to spoil. I hope you don’t mind that I left Agnes some little things to enjoy while she’s here.”

“No, of course not,” Liz replied as she felt her heart swell. It was all too evident from where Ressler got his good heart. “She was so excited.”

“Well, it’s all hers to enjoy and to take home with her when you leave,” Lisa continued. “Oh – and I have all your packages put aside in the garage,” Lisa remarked with a conspiratorial grin that in an instant reminded Liz of her partner’s, “and I picked up a couple of rolls of princess wrapping paper just in case you didn’t have supplies. Don said Agnes loves those Disney princesses.

“She does, thank you,” Liz replied genuinely. She felt momentarily overwhelmed at the strong emotional resemblance between Ressler and his mother. She could see immediately where his good, compassionate heart came from. The woman in front of her didn’t have a deceptive bone in her body. She was a genuine straight shooter and, because of those things, so different from anyone Liz had ever known.

“I’m going to head up now,” she managed softly. “Thanks for everything.”

“Of course, no need for thanks, get some sleep,” Lisa reassured her. “Busy day tomorrow!”

Liz nodded and made her way back up the stairs, water in hand. She couldn’t help but notice that Ressler’s door was closed with the light off as she made her way into the guest room she shared with Agnes and closed the door behind her.

* * *

Ressler heard Liz come up the stairs but remained motionless on his bed, his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. He’d known it was risky, bringing Liz and Agnes here. He knew his mother – and even Robby – would likely grow attached to them. Maybe the attachment would be mutual from Liz and Agnes. And yet, it felt like the right thing to do and the right time to do it. The right time to have his past and present collide and see how it all landed. He turned onto his side with a heavy sigh and folded his arms underneath the pillow that was familiar and yet not. After a few minutes, exhaustion won and he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Ressler awoke to a beam of sunlight across his pillow. He glanced at his watch and was surprised to see he had slept as long as he had given how early he’d gone to bed. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his face. Stretching, he got up and padded across the hall to the bathroom. The house was quiet with no sign of movement from Liz, Agnes or his mother. He turned on the shower and pressed his head and hands against the cool tiles as the steaming water cascaded across his back. He was efficient as always and after a quick shave, emerged with nothing more than a towel around his hips. Barely thinking, he was startled to hear a voice greet him as he emerged from the bathroom.

“Morning,” Liz said in a low voice as she pointedly eyed him up and down.

Ressler flushed under her scrutiny but quickly recovered. “Morning,” he managed as he clutched the top of his towel. “Sleep well?”

Liz flicked her eyes up and down once more, seeming to enjoy his discomfiture. “Of course,” she replied, “it was very comfortable.”

Ressler cleared his throat as he inched closer to his room. “Well, great. That’s great,” he replied as he scuttled into his room. _Smooth move man, smooth_ , he chastised himself while wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He’d never been nervous around women – _never_ – but somehow Liz was different. He couldn’t explain why if he tried. It would probably take one of those psychiatrist-types that he absolutely refused to patronize to explain it.

Eventually, he made his way downstairs to the kitchen where Liz and Agnes were already ensconced at the island as his mother made breakfast.

“Look at you,” he said brightly as he kissed Lisa on the cheek and flashed a sheepish grin at Liz, “early risers.”

“Some of us haven’t showered and made ourselves presentable yet,” Liz admitted as she sipped a mug of coffee.

“Some of us are always presentable despite a shower,” Ressler remarked as he poured himself a cup and flashed Liz a grin. “I’m just not one of them, right mom?”

Lisa patted his cheek warmly as she stirred the eggs in the pan. “You’ve been presentable ever since you cut that terrible long hair you had a teenager. Can you go out to the garage, hon? Get me the extra half and half from the fridge.” Ressler nodded as he stepped out the door with an exaggerated wink towards Liz who smothered her smile in her coffee cup.

A half hour later, Agnes had eaten her fill of pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream and the rest of them had sampled those plus the eggs and bacon Lisa had cooked.

“How are you not 200 pounds?” Liz whispered as they poured another cup of coffee and made their way into the living room.

Ressler grinned. “All that running I do, and I haven’t lived at home in 20 years. Mom doesn’t have anyone to spoil. She doesn’t cook like this on a normal day.”

“Agnes and I were just chatting,” Lisa remarked as she joined them living room, “and she’s excited to be my Christmas cookie helper today. So if you two want to go sight-seeing _or take care of anything else,_ ” Lisa emphasized carefully, “we’ll be just fine.”

Liz exchanged glances with Ressler before turning her eyes to Agnes. “You want to stay with Mrs. Ressler and bake cookies while we take care of some errands?”

“Yes, Mommy! Can I? Can I?” Agnes asked eagerly.

“Of course you can,” Liz replied warmly.

* * *

Liz slipped upstairs to shower and get dressed and then joined Ressler as they eyed the pile of boxes occupying the side of Lisa’s garage. Ever since she’d accepted Ressler’s invitation to join his family for Christmas, Liz had shopped online and shipped as much as she could to Lisa’s house.

“I really didn’t order that much,” Liz protested as she eyed the stack of packages ruefully.

“It’s fine,” Ressler reassured her as he snaked an arm around her waist. “Where should we start?”

An hour later, Ressler was slightly less cheerful after slamming his thumb putting together a doll bed. He sucked it like a wounded warrior while Liz struggled not to laugh at his expression. 

“I’m sorry,” she managed. “I didn’t realize how much of this stuff was ‘assembly required.’”

“It’s fine,” Ressler chuckled. “I’m looking forward to seeing the princess excited to open presents.”

Another hour passed before they finished assembling and wrapping all of the gifts. Liz leaned back on her heels and gazed at the pile of colorfully wrapped packages with satisfaction. “We’re done and it’s not even noon!”

Ressler stretched and grinned. “That’s good. I promised Mom I’d run into town and grab some wine for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow. You want to come along?”

“Sure. Agnes thinks we’re running errands anyway. I better have something to show for it.”

As they drove into town, Ressler pointed out his old high school and other favorite boyhood spots and shared a few stories of his teenage escapades that had her in fits of laughter.

“I still can’t picture you as the rebel child,” she gasped. “I always assumed you were a straitlaced, rule following kid.”

Ressler shook his head, bemused. “Hardly. Exactly the opposite, really. My poor father got called into that school more times than I want to count.”

“Amazing,” Liz shooked her head as she glanced down at her hands. “I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you that I was a bit of a rebel myself.”

“Somehow, I can picture that,” Ressler demurred as he fought a smile. “But I’d expect nothing else from the child of two spies.”

“Can you imagine what Agnes will be like when she’s older? If she’s got even a little bit of her father’s instincts, much less mine…”

“You’re gonna have your hands full,” Ressler agreed. “You got to keep an eye on that one.”

They finished picking up the wine and some flowers for the table and headed back to Lisa’s house. As they walked in the door they were greeted by the scent of freshly baked cookies. Agnes darted out of the kitchen, dressed in an apron, with a huge smile on her face as she took their hands and tugged them towards the kitchen.

“Come see what we made! Come see!” she exclaimed.

The kitchen island was covered with cooling racks filled with colorfully decorated sugar cookies.

“Honey, they’re beautiful,” Liz remarked as she marveled at the array. She could see Agnes had been actively involved in painting a number of them. She turned to Lisa, “Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I’m not much of a cook or baker and I can see how much work this was.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” Lisa reassured her. “Agnes and I had a great time. I’m not used to having such a capable assistant!”

“Mommy do you think I could play with the princess bath toys now?” Agnes asked as she held out her flour and food coloring covered hands.

“I think that’s a very good idea,” Liz agreed as she guided her daughter upstairs.

* * *

By the time she came down, Ressler and his mother had restored the kitchen to a semblance of order and he’d lit a fire in the fireplace. They turned on Home Alone and spent the next couple of hours with Agnes prattling happily in between them on the couch. 

Just as the movie ended, the back door opened and Robbie came in, rubbing his hands against the cold.

“Merry Christmas Eve, everyone,” he boomed as he stepped into the room. Agnes stared at him wide-eyed.

“Agnes, this is my brother Robby. Robby, you remember my partner, Liz? This is her daughter Agnes.”

“Hey kiddo,” Robby came over and extended his hand to Agnes for a fist bump. “Liz, nice to see you under better circumstances,” he continued.

“Likewise,” Liz agreed. “Merry Christmas.”

* * *

They spent the next couple of hours enjoying a leisurely Christmas Eve dinner. Robby was full of stories about his business and Ressler was pleased to see how much more self-confident he seemed. After dinner, Liz rose to clear the table. Lisa moved to join her but Liz shook her head.

“You sit here and relax and catch up with your boys,” she insisted. “Let me load the dishwasher for a change. It’s the least I can do with all the cooking you’re doing for us.”

“Well that’s very sweet of you, ” Lisa agreed slowly, “but you be sure and give a shout out if you need any help.”

“Will do,” Liz agreed.

She was well along when Robby stepped into the kitchen and came over to the sink. He glanced back at the dining room and then spoke in a low voice.

“I never got a chance to say thank you,” he murmured. “For what you did for us.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything,” Liz replied softly. “It was no big deal.”

“No, it _was_ a big deal,” Robby insisted. “A very big deal. I don’t know how you pulled it off, or I can ever repay you for giving me my life back.”

Liz felt suddenly emotional as she heard Lisa laugh in the dining room at something her partner had said. She put a hand on Robby’s sleeve. “Seeing how happy your mom is to have the two of you under one her roof for Christmas, I can’t imagine the alternative. Honestly, there’s no thanks or repayment I could ever possibly need beyond that.”

“Well,” Robby grinned sheepishly, “I’m happy to have us all here together too. You’re a good person, Liz.” He squeezed her arm and made his way back into the dining room.

A short while later, Ressler came in to join her. “Let me help,” he insisted as she tried to wave him off. The two of them made short work of the rest of the cleanup and then rejoined Robby and Lisa at the dining room table.

Robby headed home a short while later with the promise to return for brunch the next day. After setting out a plate of cookies and milk for Santa, Liz headed upstairs to put Agnes to bed. The whole process took longer than usual as her daughter could barely contain her excitement at the prospect of Santa Claus arriving.

“You’re sure he knows to come here and not to our apartment, right Mommy?” she asked anxiously as Liz tucked her in.

“Yes, I’m sure. I made sure to send a note just to be extra sure.”

“Good,” Agnes replied as she clutched her bear. “Goodnight, Mommy!”

* * *

Liz came downstairs to find Ressler alone in the living room, sipping a glass of wine and staring at the slowly dwindling fire.

“Where’s your mom?” Liz asked.

“She headed to bed. Big day tomorrow and today was pretty busy. I think she’s more tired than she wanted to admit. You want a refill?” Ressler gestured towards Liz’s wine glass, which he had brought in from the dining room.

Liz nodded and sat down next to him on the couch. Ressler handed her the glass and then draped his arm around her shoulders and drew her closer against him. They sat in companionable silence for a long while as Ressler rubbed his thumb gently up and down Liz’s arm. Between the wine, the flickering fire, the glow of the Christmas tree, and Ressler’s embrace, Liz felt a warm glow inside.

Eventually, Ressler set his glass down on the coffee table and reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a small flat box.

“I know it’s early,” he said quietly, “but I wanted to give you this while we’re alone. The rest can wait for tomorrow.”

Liz set her glass down and accepted the small, simply wrapped box. She opened the lid and caught her breath. Inside was a simple gold necklace holding a charm of two interlocking circles. The firelight reflecting on the necklace made the metal glow.

Ressler cleared his throat. “You told me that night under the bridge that we’d come so far just to end up right back where we started. The thing is, we’re not right back where we started. You’re a part of me now, a part of my life. We’re tied together no matter what happens. So I wanted you to have something to wear to remind you, when you’re off chasing Reddington and things seem dark, you have something to come back to, Liz. Someone who – cares about you very much.”

Liz blinked back tears as she carefully lifted the necklace out of the box.

“Will you put it on me?” she whispered.

Ressler nodded and Liz turned her head and lifted her hair so he could fasten the clasp. Liz fingered the necklace and then lifted her eyes.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” she said softly. “And I promise not to forget.” She held Ressler’s gaze for a long moment, her eyes shining. He cupped the back of her head and slowly drew her closer, grazing her lips lightly at first and then more firmly. Liz slowly leaned back on the couch, pulling him along with her until he was half lying on top of her. He moaned as she slid her hands under his shirt and skimmed her fingers over his bare back. He stroked her hair as their kiss intensified rapidly.

Eventually, Ressler pulled back and scanned her face as they both struggled to catch their breath.

“Liz,” he breathed raggedly, his voice filled with emotion.

“Shh,” she whispered as she drew him back in for another kiss.

Finally, he pulled back again. “We gotta stop,” he managed. “Otherwise I’m gonna carry you up those stairs and we’ll have one disappointed kid tomorrow because Santa didn’t come.”

Liz couldn’t help but smile at the pained expression on his face. “I think we need to reconsider the sleeping arrangements when we head up north,” she replied playfully and was rewarded with an arched ginger eyebrow.

“You’ll get no complaints from me,” he murmured.

“In the meanwhile, I guess we better play Santa, right?”

“Yeah.” Ressler slowly lifted himself off the couch and extended Liz a hand.

* * *

They tiptoed in and out of the garage until every package was carefully arranged under the tree and stood back and admired their handiwork.

“You think she’ll be up at dawn?” Ressler asked.

“Oh, I hope not, but she certainly could be. I’ll do my best to hold her off until a respectable hour.”

“Don’t worry on our account,” Ressler chuckled. “Mom and I are naturally early risers. But don’t let her downstairs without knocking on my door. I want to see her face, ok?”

“Of course.”

“Who gets to eat those?” Ressler gestured towards the plate of cookies and milk sitting on the coffee table. “It’ll look weird if no one tries anything, won’t it?”

Liz gaped at him for a moment. “Go ahead,” she managed as she tried to stifle a laugh. “You definitely earned it.” Ressler grinned and took a large bite out of a festive candy cane cookie followed by a quick swig of milk.

“Santa’s got a great job,” he murmured as he munched on the cookie. 

After a second cookie and a little more milk, they walked upstairs slowly, hand in hand before parting in the hall.

“Goodnight, Liz, Merry Christmas,” Ressler said as he turned towards his door.

“Goodnight – Don,” Liz replied.

Ressler turned and blinked. She’d never used his first name before.

“Merry Christmas,” she whispered as she disappeared into her room.


	4. Chapter 4

Liz could feel Agnes squirming beside her before she even opened her eyes. The second she cracked a eyelid open, Agnes’s nose was two inches from hers. “Mommy, are you awake? It’s Christmas, Mommy! Wake up!”

Liz blinked sleepily and reached for her phone. It was barely 6 a.m. and the room was still dark.

“Agnes, it’s too early. We can’t expect Uncle Donnie and Mrs. Ressler to get up at this hour and they want to see you open your presents.”

“Uncle Donnie’s awake, Mommy! I heard him open his door.”

“He was probably just going to the bathroom, honey, it’s really too early—“

“Please, Mommy,” Agnes begged. “The sun’s coming up, see?” Agnes gestured towards the window where a slight brightening of the sky was barely visible.

“Let’s wait a little longer, at least a half hour, ok?” Liz murmured as she closed her eyes again. The corners of her mouth twitched as Agnes heaved an exasperated sigh beside her.

“Fine,” Agnes replied grumpily.

* * *

It felt like only five minutes had passed when Agnes patted Liz’s face and urged her to wake up, but at least the room was significantly brighter. Liz reached for her phone again. 6:45. She knew she couldn’t hold Agnes off much longer.

“Ok, give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” Liz murmured as she swung her feet over the side of the bed and headed for the bathroom. When she emerged, Ressler’s door was ajar and she heard excited chatter coming from inside.

“Agnes, did you wake Uncle Donnie?” Liz said reproachfully as she stepped into the room.

“No, Mommy,” Agnes replied solemnly. “He was already up. I told you that.”

Liz arched an eyebrow towards Ressler who ducked and grinned. She suspected the truth was otherwise, but he clearly wasn’t going to blow Agnes’s story.

“What about your mom?” Liz asked. “I don’t want her to miss out on the fun just because someone here,” she glanced at Agnes pointedly, “can’t let people wake up at a reasonable hour.”

Ressler chuckled. “If I know my mother, she’s already up, fully dressed and has the coffee pot turned on, but we’ll double check when we get downstairs just to be sure. And if she’s not awake, we’re going to wait to open the presents, right?” He attempted to make a stern face at Agnes but could barely hold it together.

“Right!” Agnes agreed, cheerily. “Come on, Mommy, come on Uncle Donnie,” let’s go see what Santa left!

Agnes flew across the room to the tree, knelt down excitedly, and began to examine the various packages laid out in front of her.

“I hope she didn’t actually wake you?” Liz said quietly as they watched her. “I feel terrible.”

Ressler wrapped an arm around her waist and squeezed her tightly. “I told you I’m an early riser, relax, it’s Christmas. She’s a kid, she’s supposed to be up and excited. You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

“He’s right,” Lisa said from behind her. Liz turned and flushed slightly that Ressler’s mom had surely seen him embrace her. Lisa handed Ressler a steaming mug of black coffee. “I made coffee but I wasn’t sure how you take yours, Liz. Ask Don to tell you how he and Robby used to wake us up while it was still dark outside and my husband just barely home from the night shift. But his father got up every year even if he’d only slept an hour because he loved Christmas and seeing their happy faces that much.” Lisa patted Ressler’s arm and turned back to Liz. “Do you take cream? Sugar? Or black like Don?”

“Cream, one sugar,” Liz replied. “Thank you.” Lisa nodded and headed into the kitchen.

“It sounds like you had a wonderful dad,” Liz said softly.

“I did,” Ressler agreed. “I just wish I’d appreciated him more before it was too late.”

Before Liz could reply, Ressler stepped away, set his coffee down on the table, and crouched down next to the tree with Agnes and began examining the presents with her. After a moment, Lisa rejoined them and handed Liz her coffee.

“Here you go, honey, you’re gonna need this,” Lisa remarked with a smile.

“Thank you,” Liz replied gratefully as she took a long sip and headed over to the couch.

“Can I open presents now, Mommy? Can I? Can I?”

“Yes, Agnes,” Liz replied but remember your manners and make sure you give the packages that are labeled for other people to them, okay?”

“Yes, Mommy,” Agnes replied so seriously that Liz was half expecting her to salute. A moment later, she could only smile as Agnes tore into the first package and squealed with delight.

“Mommy! Santa brought Anna in the new dress,” Agnes exclaimed as she held up her favorite Frozen character in her latest winter costume.

Liz locked eyes with Ressler who nodded slightly. He was hoping that at least for this week, Agnes’s other wishes would be granted too.

While the majority of the presents were for Agnes, Liz was delighted to receive soft slippers, a wearable blanket, a lovely mug and packages of her favorite tea from Lisa. “Don gave me some hints,” Lisa winked, “and he said you’re always feeling cold like me.”

“It’s true,” Liz admitted, “I love them, thank you.”

For her part, Liz was pleased to see that her gifts of a new snowglobe ornament for Lisa’s tree, a photo frame, and an Instapot were well received.

“I’ve been wanting to try one of these,” Lisa remarked as she turned the Instapot over in her hands, “how did you know?”

“Don gave me some hints, too,” Liz admitted as Ressler shrugged sheepishly. He’d bought his mother a new countertop oven to replace the one he’d noticed was on the fritz during his last visit plus some gift certificates to her favorite restaurants to use with her friends.

For Liz, his gifts were more personal, but none as personal as the necklace he had quietly shared with her the night before. A sweater, a few new books, a couple of bottles of her favorite wine.

Liz was especially excited to share her gift with Ressler, even if she’d been unable to transport it physically to Detroit. 

“Agnes, give Uncle Donnie this envelope,” she whispered when Agnes finally reached a lull in the present opening. “I couldn’t transport your gift,” she admitted, “so it’s waiting for you in D.C., but the envelope will explain what it is.”

Agnes obediently came over and handed Ressler the envelope and leaned on his knee as she waited for him to open it.

Ressler gave Liz a quizzical look as he tore the envelope open. As he read the card, Liz was pleased to see the rush of emotion cross his face.

“Liz,” he began as his voice cracked slightly, “This is too much, you didn’t have to – you shouldn’t have…” his voice trailed off, but the look on his face told her it was exactly the right decision.

“What is it?” Lisa asked curiously. Ressler wordlessly handed her the envelope.

“Two original commemorative seats from the original Tiger Stadium,” Lisa read aloud. She immediately put the envelope down and put her hand to her lips. “Oh Liz, I’m sure he must’ve told you he used to go all the games with his father as a boy, what a lovely gift.”

“He did,” Liz replied quietly as she glanced toward Ressler who was still struggling to compose himself. It was one of those little facts she’d picked up through all the years of knowing him, all their conversations in the car, how the one place he’d felt closest to his dad was in the seats at Tiger Stadium, watching a baseball game.

“Thank you,” Ressler managed as he got up off the couch. Liz stood up and hugged him as he kissed her forehead. “I can’t wait to see them when we get home.”

Finally composing himself, he reached behind the tree and pulled out a package that Agnes hadn’t noticed because it was wrapped differently from all the rest. “I got you a little something too, munchkin,” he murmured as he handed her the package.

Agnes accepted the package and promptly tore it open. As she did, her smile grew. “Mommy, look! Uncle Donnie got me a talking Grogu!” Agnes’s eyes shone as she held up a toy animatronic of the popular green child otherwise known as Baby Yoda.”

“How did you even find that, it’s been sold out…?” Liz turned to Ressler in wonder who shrugged.

“I have ways,” he said with a grin.

“Agnes is obsessed with Baby Yoda – Grogu,” Liz admitted to Lisa. “I wasn’t going to let her watch the show at first, but she caught me watching it one night and I couldn’t get her to go to bed. She loved the scene of him with the soup in the first season and she wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

“And the frogs!” Agnes exclaimed as she wrestled Baby Yoda out of his box.

“And the frogs,” Liz agreed.

“Well, I haven’t watched it myself,” Lisa admitted, “but my boys loved those original movies and Yoda and he’s very cute Agnes!”

Robby arrived as they were nearly done with the presents. Liz was surprised when he sat down on the floor next to the tree and invited Agnes to show him all her new treasures. For a man who seemed on first glance to be so gruff, he definitely had a softer side.

After presents they made their way into the dining room. Somehow in the middle of the chaos of Christmas morning, Lisa had still managed to pull together a baked frittata and mimosas for the adults as well as plenty of cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate for Agnes.

“Agnes is really going to realize my domestic shortcomings after this weekend,” Liz whispered to Ressler. “I’m in awe of your mother.”

Ressler chuckled quietly. “My mom lives for this stuff. Don’t sell yourself short,” he added. “You’re a fantastic mom.”

“Who can’t cook,” Liz replied pointedly.

“Who cares?” Ressler replied. “She’ll learn a lot more skills from you than cooking.”

“Oh God,” Liz replied as she buried her face in her hands, “maybe it’s safer if I learn how to cook and teach her that.”

Ressler nearly choked on his mimosa as his laughter rumbled. “Maybe so,” he agreed, “and if that’s what you want to do, I’m happy to help.”

“Hey, Donnie, you guys are planning on heading up north tomorrow to the cabin, right?” Robby interjected, his face suddenly serious as he glanced at his phone.

“Yeah, why?” Ressler asked as he reached for his own.

“Snow coming, big dump by the looks of it,” Robby murmured. “You’re gonna want to get an early start.”

Ressler opened his own weather app and his eyes grew large as he held it out for Liz to see. “Robby’s right, looks like a big one,” he remarked.

“Well, you’d better plan for an early start,” Lisa remarked as she moved to clear the table. “Load the car tonight and leave at first light. You’ll need to get your provisions in before the storm.”

Ressler nodded as he stood to help his mother. “Looks like Agnes may have another wish come true,” he said with a smile as he headed towards the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Ressler and Liz packed the car as tightly as they could Christmas night after Agnes went to bed so that they were ready to leave for the cabin early the next morning. Their plan was to stay for a week and come back and spend New Years Day with Lisa and Robby before driving back to D.C.

“I hope you three have a wonderful week,” Lisa said as she hugged Liz warmly. “I have so many happy memories of our time at the cabin.” Lisa turned to her son. “You put the chains on the tires?”

“Yes, mom. I haven’t forgotten how to handle snow.”

“I know you haven’t,” Lisa replied as she patted his cheek. “But it’s been a while and it’s different now with a child,” she remarked as she gestured towards Agnes.

“We’re good, Mom,” Ressler reassured her as he kissed her cheek. “We’ll see you next week.”

“You let me know if anything is out of order,” Lisa continued. “I don’t get up there anymore as much as I should but Jack assures me everything is just fine.”

“Who’s Jack?” Liz asked as she slid into the passenger seat.

“He’s a neighbor and a caretaker of sorts,” Ressler explained as he turned the car out of the driveway. “We need someone to check the place, turn on the heat before we come, make sure the water’s on and nothing’s broken and he does all that and then some,” he continued. “None of us get up there as much as we should. My mom lets my cousins use it when they can.”

“Did you go there a lot as a kid?” Liz asked. She loved the little glimpses of Ressler’s past that she was collecting slowly from the trip.

“Often enough,” Ressler remarked as he turned onto I-75 and headed north. “My dad loved to take us up there no matter the weather. In the summer we’d dive off the dock, fish in the lake, take the boat out and tube. In the winter we’d hole up in front of the fire, cross-country ski in the woods, ice skate on the lake if it was super cold. He was always up for any of it.”

“He sounds like a great dad,” Liz said quietly.

“Yeah,” Ressler agreed.

For the next couple of hours they barely exchanged a word. Liz wasn’t sure if it was because she’d hit a nerve talking about Ressler’s father, but she was relieved that her partner seemed his usual, jovial self by the time they pulled into the parking lot of the local supermarket closest to the cabin.

“Ok, pit stop,” Ressler announced as he put the car in gear. “This is your last chance to make all your blizzard wishes come true. Snacks, drinks, breakfast, lunch, dinner – this is it, ladies. Whatever we take home may be all that we have for the week so plan accordingly.”

Agnes stared at Ressler wide-eyed. “So if I want cereal I have to pick it now?”

“Yup,” Ressler replied as he unbuckled her from her car seat. “Cereal, cookies, late night popcorn – anything you think you might want for a week, this is your moment because there might not be another chance.”

“Ok,” Agnes agreed slowly. “Mommy, can we make brownies?”

“I think we can manage that,” Liz agreed as she lifted Agnes out of the car and took her hand.

Over the next hour, Liz marveled at Ressler’s efficiency as he moved quickly through the supermarket, tossing food in the car seemingly at random. He clearly had a recipe index running through his head that she simply wasn’t privy to and she dared not to ask too many questions. Finally, when he hesitated over a third jar of tomato sauce she finally had to ask.

“Are we really going to be snowbound for a week? You’re shopping like this is the apocalypse and we’ll be cut off from civilization for the foreseeable future.”

Ressler blinked and then grinned slowly. “I’m probably overdoing it, but as my mom used to say –“

“Better safe than sorry?” Liz interjected.

“Yeah, that,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Look, Sam was the same way,” Liz replied, “but this is over the top even for caution. You have four different kinds of pasta in the cart!”

“It doesn’t go bad,” Ressler shrugged. “Whatever we don’t use, someone will. I’d rather have too much than not enough.”

“Ok fine,” Liz agreed, “but let’s not go crazy. We’re buying wine, right?” she winked.

“Of course,” Ressler agreed.

Finally, they were done with the shopping and headed on their way. The sky was already dark and a few snowflakes landed on the windshield and quickly melted.

“I was hoping to get in there before dark,” Ressler mused as he squinted at the road ahead, “but it gets dark so early now. At least the snow held off.”

“How rugged _is_ this cabin?” Liz asked as she saw the expression on his face. She’d had her share of rugged in Alaska but she wasn’t sure she was prepared to replicate that with Agnes in tow.

“Not rugged at all,” Ressler murmured as he scanned the road for the right turn-off. “I can promise heat and plumbing if everything’s working as it should be.”

Liz blinked. “And if it’s not?”

Ressler flashed her one of his rakish grins as he gave her an exaggerated wink. “A night snuggled under a pile of blankets and a trip back to mom’s house in the morning?”

“Sold.”

* * *

Ressler eventually turned onto a barely visible dirt road that led to cozy looking wood cabin with a wide front porch across the front. 

“Here we are,” he remarked proudly as he put the SUV into gear and killed the engine. In the distance, Liz could see the faint outlines of a dock and the shoreline of a lake. The house itself was unassuming but clearly well-cared for.

“Are we going to have snow, Uncle Donnie?” Agnes asked hopefully.

“We’re supposed to, kiddo, enough to play in tomorrow for sure.”

Agnes clapped her hands happily as Ressler helped her out of the car and opened the trunk to begin hauling the groceries and their bags into the house.

Liz was relieved to feel a blast of warm air as they entered the house.

“Heat’s on,” Ressler remarked as he registered the same sensation. “That’s good.” He stepped further into the house and quickly began flicking light switches until the whole first floor was illuminated. The living area was focused on a huge fireplace with a dining area and kitchen off to the side.

They made multiple trips until finally all the food and provisions were inside. Liz busied herself loading the fridge with the cold food while Ressler surveyed the house, making sure the electricity and heat were working throughout.

Finally, he removed his coat as he rejoined Liz. “Everything looks good,” he remarked. “Plenty of firewood down here,” the heat’s working upstairs and down, beds look freshly made, power’s working.”

“That’s good,” Liz agreed. After a moment, she sidled closer to Ressler, “I was serious the other night when I said I thought we needed different sleeping arrangements,” she said in a low voice. “So if you want to try to sell Agnes on a room of her own, now might be the time.”

Ressler chuckled softly. “You got it,” he said. “Hey, Agnes, you want to see upstairs?” he asked in a louder voice. Agnes eagerly got up off the couch, took his outstretched hand, and disappeared upstairs.

It didn’t take long before they came back down. Agnes looked exhilarated and Ressler looked hopeful.

“Mommy, there’s a teddy bear room, come see!”

“A what?” Liz asked as she flicked a glance at Ressler.

“A teddy bear room,” Agnes insisted impatiently. “Come!”

Ressler grinned as Liz followed her daughter out of the kitchen and upstairs. The upstairs hall was small but led to three bedrooms with a shared hall bathroom. Agnes tugged Liz into the smallest of the three bedrooms.

“Look!” she exclaimed proudly.

The tiny room was nearly filled wall to wall with a single full sized bed, upon which sat at least 20 teddy bears.

“My mom loves her bears,” Ressler remarked from the doorway. Liz turned to see him leaning in the doorway, arms folded.

“These are your mother’s bears?”

Ressler nodded slowly as he stepped into the room and picked one up and smoothed its buttoned vest. “My mom should’ve had a girl,” he remarked as he rearranged several of the bears carefully. “Robby and I always made fun of her for these guys but she loved them.”

“I love them too!” Agnes exclaimed eagerly.

Ressler grinned. “Do you want to sleep in the bear room tonight?”

“Yes, please! Mommy, can I? Can I?” Agnes implored.

“I’m not sure there’s room for both of us and all these bears,” Liz said carefully as she darted a glance towards Ressler. “You can sleep here, but I might have to sleep someplace else. Is that okay?”

“Yes! I just want to sleep with the bears, Mommy. Please?”

Ressler winked at Liz from the doorway and she forced herself to stifle a smile. “Sure, honey, I think that will be fine.”

* * *

They fixed a simple spaghetti dinner and shortly afterwards Liz tucked Agnes into bed among the sea of bears with promises to play in the snow in the morning.

When she came back downstairs, Liz sank down on the couch in front of the fireplace and finally took in her surroundings. The room was cozy with colorful touches of plaid on the windows.

“Today has been a really long day,” she admitted.

“It has,” Ressler agreed as he sat down on the couch next to her and slowly began to rub her neck. “But we’ve got nowhere to be for the next week and by morning, we should have a full blanket of snow so just sit back, relax, and forget about all the hassles.”

“You’re making that easier by the minute,” Liz murmured as she gave herself over to his neck rub. 

“I aim to please,” Ressler remarked quietly.

He continued to rub her neck gently until finally Liz shrugged him off. “I can’t keep my eyes open,” she admitted. “Where are we sleeping?”

“Come,” Ressler replied simply as he took her hand and led her back upstairs to the room next to where Agnes was fast asleep.

The bedroom landed at the peak of the house and featured a large queen sized bed with a triangular window over the bed. The window was adorned with the soft glow of twinkle lights. Liz paused and took in the scene.

“Who hung the fairy lights over the bed?” she asked eventually.

“Not me,” Ressler chuckled. “Probably one of my cousins if I had to guess,” he continued. “But I thought they were a nice touch so I turned them on when I brought up the bags.

“No argument here,” Liz murmured as she turned and wrapped her arms around her partner.

“You’re tired, let’s get ready for bed,” Ressler said in a low voice. He wasn’t about to press her.

“I was,” Liz agreed, “and I am, but –“ she snaked her hands under Ressler’s shirt, “suddenly I’m not as tired as I was.”

She could feel him catch his breath as he registered what she was saying. Slowly, he bent his head towards hers until his lips brushed hers, haltingly at first and then more emphatically as his tongue slipped between her lips. He was hesitant at first, barely touching her, but as she began to respond, he quickly tightened his grip on her both with his hands and his mouth. He began to explore her mouth more insistently while simultaneously running his hands up and down her body, caressing her back, her hips and eventually her chest.

Liz reached for his belt buckle and swiftly unbuckled it. In a fluid motion, she removed it and then quickly unbuttoned his jeans and slipped her hand inside. Ressler moaned as she touched him and arched his hips against her as he cupped her back.

“Liz,” he managed, sounding strangled.

Ressler quickly fumbled for the bottom of her shirt and had it over her head before she could catch her breath. He pivoted her towards the bed and gently eased her onto it. She could feel his body tremble as he gently rained kisses on her exposed chest and belly. Slowly, he reached behind her and gently unhooked her bra before he slipped it off her arms, cast it aside, and slowly traced circles on her chest until she was gasping for more. She cleaved towards him as she drank him in, simultaneously moving her hips underneath him while pulling him closer against her. He didn’t protest as she removed his shirt and the heat of his warm skin against hers was exhilarating.

As their kisses became more intense, Ressler slowly reached for Liz’s jeans, unbuttoned them, and slipped his hand inside and cupped her gently. She gasped and arched her hips as he slowly moved his hand and pressed herself against him. She wanted him – all of him.

She could feel a thin sheen of sweat on Ressler’s back as he slowly edged her jeans and panties down, eventually casting them aside. A moment later she tugged at the waist of his boxer briefs as he obliged her by shimmying out of them. Completely naked, he pressed against her, teasing her as he ran his hands lightly over her skin. Liz felt like she was on fire as her lower body glowed against his touch. In the meanwhile, she explored his mouth with her tongue and his upper body and hair with her fingers.

Eventually, he pressed against her more insistently until finally he slipped inside her and they both gasped as they rocked back and forth and found their rhythm. They rocked back and forth as one until finally Liz arched her hips and moaned audibly as she reached her climax, her fingernails digging into Ressler back. The sound of her tipped him over the edge as he frantically pumped his hips until finally he too collapsed as the sensation overcame him. Breathless, he rested his head on her bare chest, trembling. Liz slowly stroked his hair, unable to find the words even if she wanted to.

Eventually, he lifted his head and scanned her face. Liz cupped his face gently with her hands and raised it to her own before rewarding him with the sweetest, most gentlest kisses he could have hoped for. Relieved, he lowered his head and clung to her, almost too tightly, unwilling in that moment to separate their bodies.

They lay for a long time, embracing each other tightly, each unwilling to speak and shatter the moment. Eventually, Ressler slowly slid off her, curled on his side beside her, and lifted her hand and pressed a kiss against her knuckles.

“I like this place,” Liz whispered softly beside him. “I’m glad we have a week here.”

“Me too,” Ressler managed. “Me too.”


	6. Chapter 6

They eventually fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms until the first rays of sunlight shone through the window over the bed and bathed them in their glow.

As Liz slowly shed the fog of sleep, she realized she was resting on her partner’s bare chest. His arms were flung above his head, the tuft of ginger hair in his armpit only inches from her eyes. She watched him sleep for a few minutes before she slipped her hand under the covers and stroked his legs, his abdomen, and everything in between.

Ressler arched his hips instinctively at her touch. He blinked rapidly as he registered her presence and then his eyes narrowed as he registered the placement of her hand. Pivoting quickly onto his side, he cupped her face and kissed her deeply.

“I was afraid I dreamed all of that,” he admitted as he stroked her cheek.

“So was I,” Liz agreed, “but then I woke up and there you were.”

Ressler pressed his lips against hers once more as he slowly ran his hand over the curve of her hip.

Eventually, he pulled away. “Liz, I—“ he began.

“Shh,” Liz silenced him with another kiss. “Don’t talk.”

* * *

As the sun rose higher they heard the unmistakable sound of Agnes’s door opening and her feet padding on the bare floor as she made her way into the bathroom.

“I’ll go,” Ressler said as he quickly swung his legs over the edge of the bed and slipped into his t-shirt and jeans from the night before. “Take your time.” He pressed a light kiss on Liz’s lips and slipped out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. 

“Hey kiddo,” he greeted Agnes as she emerged from the bathroom. “Your mom’s still asleep. Want to help me make breakfast?” Agnes nodded as she followed him down the stairs.

“Look, Uncle Donnie, it snowed!” Agnes exclaimed as she ran over to the large sliding doors that faced the lake. The partially frozen lake was still clearly visible in the distance with the long dock that stretched out from the edge of the lawn, but Ressler could tell from the rapidly intensifying flakes that the snow was far from done.

“I think we’re gonna get a lot more than that, munchkin,” he replied as he tousled her hair. “You ready to build a snowman later?”

“Yes!” Agnes replied eagerly.

* * *

Liz stretched languidly as she pulled the covers tighter around her chest. She’d known where things were headed between them for the past several days and yet she was surprised at how much she welcomed the change. She fingered the necklace around her neck as she stared at the wide wooden planks of the bedroom ceiling.

Eventually, she sat up and made her way over to her unopened bag, fished out the necessary items for a shower, and quickly peering out of the bedroom door, darted into the hallway bathroom. On her return trip, she was at least clad in a towel. She slipped into some leggings and socks and was about to reach for a shirt when she spotted Ressler’s discarded flannel button down shirt on the floor. She leaned down and picked it up and pressed it against her face. It smelled like him – soap and aftershave – and she quickly slipped into it without even bothering to put on a bra. She rolled the too-long sleeves and then brushed out and towel dried her wet hair before sweeping it up into a messy bun.

Liz found Agnes sitting at the table happily eating a waffle with syrup and fruit.

“Uncle Donnie makes really good waffles,” Agnes mumbled with her mouth full.

“I bet he does,” Liz agreed.

“There you are,” Ressler remarked as he emerged from the kitchen with a plate mounded with more waffles. “Nice shirt,” he winked at her.

“Thanks, I might keep it,” Liz replied playfully.

Ressler couldn’t stop watching Liz as they ate. He loved seeing her in his shirt, wearing the necklace he’d given her, her hair piled high and messy and a genuine smile on her face and he was prepared to do anything in his power to keep her feeling that way.

* * *

After breakfast, they all put on their boots and winter coats and headed outside. The snow was still coming down but hadn’t accumulated yet to the point of being impassable. Ressler trampled a path for them down to the edge of the lake, which was covered in a thin sheen of ice.

“By February that ice will be a couple feet thick,” Ressler remarked, “but it hasn’t been cold enough yet.”

“It’s beautiful,” Liz murmured as she laced her arm through his.

Eventually they headed back up the hill towards the house and into the woods that surrounded the property. There was no sound except for the crunch of their boots on the snow and the gentle whisper of the wind through the evergreens. As Agnes raced ahead of them, spinning eagerly to catch falling snowflakes on her tongue, Ressler slipped Liz’s gloved hand into his own and laced his fingers through hers. They walked for over an hour before finally heading back towards the cabin. As they reached the yard, Agnes dropped down on the ground and moved her arms and legs to make a snow angel. 

After admiring her work, Agnes turned to Liz and Ressler. “You should make snow angels too!”

Liz darted a glance at Ressler who shrugged. “Sure, why not,” he replied amiably.

They stood next to each other and carefully dropped to the ground while Agnes clapped her hands eagerly.

As they stood up, Ressler’s smiled at the sight of Liz. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were red from the cold but her eyes were shining. He reached out and carefully brushed snow out of her hair.

“I don’t know about you, but I think I’m ready to go sit inside in front of the fire, make some hot chocolate,” he said softly.

“That sounds perfect,” Liz agreed.

* * *

As the days passed, Liz and Ressler continued to discover new things about each other.

Liz learned that her partner was a really good cook and, even more surprisingly, that he actually enjoyed cooking.

“All these years, we’ve been ordering takeout. You’ve been holding out on me,” Liz said accusingly as she speared another bite of the excellent shrimp risotto Ressler had made for their dinner.

“I like to cook when I have the time,” he replied with a chuckle. “But late nights in the office and cooking mostly for one doesn’t really lend itself to elaborate meals.”

“Well, consider us your guinea pigs whenever you’re in the mood,” Liz replied. She was pleased to see that Agnes had been willing to try everything they put in front of her and didn’t seem to be a picky eater despite Liz’s limited culinary skills.

She also learned that he was a good storyteller when Agnes requested that he put her to bed one night. Liz sat on the steps and smiled as he spun a tale off the top of his head about two puppies and their adventures.

Ressler learned that Liz loved board games, Scrabble in particular, and that she took special pleasure in finding obscure words he’d never heard of. They both learned that Agnes enjoyed games as well, especially cards, as Ressler sat patiently with her and taught her how to play “Go Fish” and gin rummy.

Ressler also learned that Liz loved to dance when he put on one of his father’s old Frank Sinatra records one afternoon and spun her around the living room, much to Agnes’s delight.

They both rediscovered a childhood love of building snowmen and rummaged in the bins and baskets at the cabin to find new and creative ways to dress them. By the end of the week there was a small family of them adorning the yard, bedecked in various colorful hats, gloves and mittens.

Alone in their room at night with only the twinkle lights for illumination, Ressler and Liz continued to discover each other. Ressler learned that Liz loved to spoon and to have her hair stroked. Liz learned that Ressler especially loved when she kissed the side of his neck, just below the jawbone.

They learned that the shower in the cabin was really too small for two people, especially with a curious five year old asleep across the hall. But to their surprise, Agnes never questioned the sleeping arrangements and as the week went on, they stopped being cautious about displaying affection in front of her. They were happy and they showed it and it was clear Agnes was happy too.

* * *

Finally, it was New Years’ Eve and their final night in the cabin. Agnes pleaded to stay up until midnight but they managed to persuade her to go to bed on time with the promise of banging pots outside as soon as it reached midnight GMT – five hours ahead of where they were. There were no neighbors around to notice anyway. At 7 p.m. they all put on their boots, collected a bunch of pots and metal spoons, and raised a racket before toasting with apple cider. An hour later, they went up together to tuck Agnes into bed. They could both see that her mood had changed and was suddenly more somber.

“What’s the matter, kiddo?” Ressler asked softly as Agnes clutched one of the bears. Agnes glanced at Liz and back at Ressler before lowering her eyes. “It’s a secret,” she mumbled.

Liz arched an eyebrow. She could tell from her daughter’s reaction that there was something Agnes was keeping from them or at least from her.

“I forgot your water, I’ll be right back,” Liz said with a slight nod towards Ressler.

“You want to talk about it?” Ressler asked Agnes as she watched her mother leave the room. Agnes hesitated as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

“Hey, sweetie, don’t cry,” he murmured as he brushed the tear away. “Are you upset that we’re leaving tomorrow? Is that it?”

Agnes nodded slowly as she raised her head and met Ressler’s concerned gaze. She sniffled and clutched the bear tighter. “It’s just that Mommy – Mommy is happy here and at home she’s not. So I just want to stay here. Why do we have to go home? Why can’t we just stay here?”

“Come here, sweetie,” Ressler extended an arm and pulled Agnes into his lap. She buried her face in his shoulder as he stroked her back soothingly.

“I know Mommy hasn’t been happy at home,” he said softly. “But I promise you, that’s gonna change. I’m gonna make sure of that. It may take some time but it’ll happen, don’t you worry.”

“You promise?”

“I promise and I promise I’m gonna come by a lot more often and check in on you two. So you can tell me if you’re still worried, okay?”

Agnes nodded as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

A moment later, Liz entered the room with Agnes’s cup of water. Ressler wasn’t sure how much she’d overheard and Liz gave no indication.

“You okay, honey?” she asked her daughter. Agnes nodded and allowed Liz to tuck her under the covers.

“Who do you want to tell you a story tonight?” Liz asked as she tucked a couple of the bears in next to Agnes.

“You,” Agnes said softly. Ressler got up, pressed a kiss on Agnes’s forehead and headed for the doorway.

“Goodnight, kiddo,” he said softly.

Agnes flashed him a watery smile. “Good night Uncle Donnie.”

* * *

Ressler headed downstairs and added another couple of logs to the fire, knowing that he and Liz would be up until at least midnight. He felt bad for Agnes who had already endured more in her short life than any child should. He was determined not to let Liz be overtaken by the darkness that permeated her life. He needed to do a better job, for all their sakes. As he sat down on the couch, he was relieved to hear Agnes giggling upstairs.

Eventually, Liz came down and sank onto the couch next to him. She put her hand over his before leaning in and kissing him lightly on the lips.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For promising Agnes that things are still gonna be okay when we get home. She needed to hear that. So do I,” Liz sighed as she took in the room. “This week has been amazing,” she continued as she snuggled against Ressler’s side, “it’s so easy to forget everything waiting for me at home.”

Ressler pressed a kiss on the top of Liz’s head. They hadn’t talked about Reddington, Katarina or any of it since they’d left D.C. But with the return looming, there were things he needed to say. He brushed a hand across his face as he struggled with how to convey what he wanted her to know.

“I know you want answers about the past, Liz, and you deserve them,” he began slowly as he traced circles on her arm with his hand. “I get that, I get that you need to know why your life is the way it is so you can make sure history doesn’t repeat itself. But here’s the thing,” he shifted until he cupped her face in between his hands, “sometimes I feel like you lose track of the present, never mind the future, because you’re so focused on the past. That little girl up there? She’s your present and your future and she needs you. I will do anything I can to help you, but you can’t lose sight of that.”

“I know,” Liz exhaled as she put a hand over his and gripped his wrist tightly. “Seeing how happy she’s been this week, feeling happy myself, I want that, I’ve always wanted that. A normal life with spaghetti and snowmen and board games and Christmas cookies, and nobody threatening to kill me or take my child away. But I feel like I’m never gonna have those things until I get the answers that Reddington is keeping from me.” Liz buried her face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around her and held her, much as he’d held Agnes upstairs. He’d give anything, do anything, to be able to protect them both and make sure they were safe.

Finally, Ressler cleared his throat. “My promise to Agnes is my promise to you, too. I want you to be happy, Liz, and I’ll do anything I can to make that happen. I mean that.”

“I know you do,” Liz whispered as she put her hand on his face. “And that’s one of the many, many things I love about you.”

Ressler caught his breath as he held her gaze before he lowered his lips to hers.

* * *

As the clock approached midnight, Ressler rummaged in the kitchen cabinets until he found two champagne flutes and filled them. As he handed one to Liz she nodded towards the record player.

“One more dance before the New Year?” she asked softly.

“Of course.” He stepped over to the record player and then took Liz in his arms as the first chords of Sinatra’s “You, My Love,” filled the room. Liz gave herself over to his embrace as they swayed gently in front of the fireplace, his forehead resting lightly on hers. As the music faded, they slowly pulled apart and Ressler glanced at his watch.

“It’s almost midnight,” he remarked. He picked up their champagne flutes and handed one to Liz.

“So what are we toasting to?” Liz asked as she gazed at him, her blue eyes blazing in the firelight.

“To us, to new beginnings,” Ressler said in a low voice as he extended his glass.

“That’s perfect,” Liz whispered as she clinked her glass against his. “Happy New Year, Don.”

“Happy New Year, Liz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story kind of took on a life of its own and ended up being a lot longer than I had intended for a Secret Santa gift exchange! But I really wanted to write some warm Keenler holiday fluff after that kiss, especially knowing we are probably in for some angst when we return for episode 8x03. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to seeing where their story goes!


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